Monday, January 18, 2016

American Terrapins or, the Turtles Will Get You Ten


THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

ANN ARBOR, Mich. — A Canadian man, Kai Xu, has pleaded guilty in a federal court in Michigan to smuggling or attempting to smuggle more than 1,000 turtles from the southeastern area of the state. He was caught last year at a border crossing with 51 snappers taped to his body. The 27-year-old would order turtles online, travel to the U.S. to pick them up and then ship them to China or return with them to Ontario. He faces a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison after his guilty plea Tuesday in Ann Arbor, Mich.



Authorities in Michigan work at the border crossing,
There to keep an eye on us; prohibited things they are stopping.
Then one day comes along a man by the name of Kai Xu,
Drives up to the boarder and wants to pass through.

Something happened in his journey; and now he's in the dumps
They had to check his sweatpants, they were swollen all with lumps
They found upon his legs were taped fifty-one small turtles,
Just inside his pants, not in bustiers or girdles.

Mr. Xu was ingenious for a man of twenty-seven,
Taking turtles to Canada almost made a great profession.
Each shipment brought upwards of one hundred and twenty-five thousand bucks,
Send them off to China and you'll live a life deluxe.

One thing to consider when devising border capers,
It's illegal to export wildlife without the proper papers.
Mr. Xu pleaded guilty in trying to smuggle over a thousand,
With a number like that no wonder he had suspicions all arousin'

Mr. Xu's had time to ponder as one might have guessed,
He's been locked up tight, behind bars, since the time of his arrest.
So many live reptiles betwixt your legs should muster caution.
Those were snapping turtles prone to snapping at your Johnson!

18Jan16

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